just when i needed you most

after so many years of living, i totally understand that the earth doesnt stop spinning just because you're down.
i presume this is the worst time of my life so far.
i hv lost my granny, and a guy that i loved left me.
it all happens so fast that i just realised how much these had affected me.
i am feeling lost and i do not know who to turn to for help.
i am still the one that does not reveal my true weak self.
i believe not many of my pals actually saw the very weak side of me.
the side that i broke down and cry my lungs out.
i have been living in a facade and i'm tired of this.
i wanna be happy and more positive, else the next suicide case might be me. lol..
not really sure who will be reading this but i am sure i'll be fine soon.
as soon as i have realised the purpose of me living. =)
till then...

Updates of my Singlehood

Time is what I seriously need. I'm fine and good and is enjoying my days, rather carefree and I've decided to direct all my time to guitar, Ody and lastly work. :)

I've made up my mind to work harder to get myself converted from a contract to a perm. Need loads of hard work but I'll do it without fail. Just hope that nothing will go wrong and I'll get what I want. FOCUS is all that I need.

Crush

ger, i hope that u'll really understand that a crush is just a crush. guess u've made ur choice. so good luck and stay happy~

i'm in no position to lecture u and stuff but it does hurt while you think you're not in a wrong ya. many a times, 'follow your heart' do not really apply in all situations. I always tell myself that Jeryd is the best thing that I ever had. =) He is nice, sweet, does everything for me, there to lift my dampen spirits up and stuff. Everyone has flaws, so does he. But I can tell that he's doing well with his flaws. You did it! No matter how many crushes I used to have, he's always that magnamious to forgive me and I loved him for that. No one treats me as well as he did. Thanks monkey~ Thanks for the memories. I treasure things that you've done for me. Hugs.

Life is not like a story writen on a whiteboard. If you don't like that sentence, you just erase it. =) Things don't go back to original once you do the necessary. Effort and Time are the factors that make things work. Change of attitude do not happen overnight! That's why I must take managing change as an examinable module. =)

Whatever it is, just try to take things easy ya? I know you are confused and lost but leaving him for another guy is not what I think you should be doing. I need to have a nice talk with you after my paper! Better give me good and solid explaination else you'll be dead. Might realised that I've been giving you cold shoulders! So many things that I have to accomplish after my paper!! damn~ I'll just do my best in all that I'm able to. Appreciated? You tell me!

Apologies

i'm serious on this
i've been saying hurting words to my pals
i'm really sorry
i thot that'll be better for us
and i hope it'll be
:)

kisses: -
Oh, i luuvve kissing. *sigh* I could kiss a man for hours and be content with just that. Sometimes, I actually enjoy it more sp than having sex. :P A make-out session can lead to other things, but when two people just kiss to kiss, there is something very special about it... something very intimate... something verra, verra delicious. *g* Perhaps it's because there's not thinking in a kiss, you just do it. There's no goal in a kiss; you're not trying to get someone off. You just want it. Just to feel it...
*quoted from the book bitches

I feel the same too!
Was showered with it and will be too.
Its just a matter of time.

Writer's mood

We first met at the rock wall
A wall where friendship begins
Soon encroaching into another level
Bringing us closer

Bickering is our routine
Jokes are no longer accepting
Quarrels became periodic
Emotionally hurt indeed

Exchange of blows minimized
Words that hurt diminished
Communication no longer simple
Leaving us adrift

Many words are left untold
Sentiments kept deep inside me
Tinted love is hard to maintain
But is it worth another try

Didn’t expect myself to come out with all these but I’m sure they are from the bottom of my heart. As for the card, I think it really describe how much we’ve tried to overcome all the differences we’ve been through. Don’t want to spoil the card by writing anything. Just wish you luck in your next relationship and remember those things written on the card. Being rash doesn’t solve anything but worsen everything. Thanks for all the wonderful times you gave me and those good that I’ve learnt from you. Take care. BIG HUGS!

a short nite out

went movie with gx
haha
so happy for him
he's going to NUS to take his Bachelor
wise choice dude
cos everyone can do sales
at least u have sth to fall back on

anyway back to my break up
i wanna know y u ask for another chance
and didnt try to make it work?
hiding things for each other
drifting apart
bah~
too late to say anything
go for the ger :)
find a new owner for the helmet
all the best in ur future

Post No. 1

got another blogsite up.
:)
abandoned the previous one.
too boring there
its all HIM, 3.5 yrs with him.
starting afresh

and i've realised that i cant do without blogging
i have so much to say
LOL
and that's why i'm here ranting again.
i've realised that prissy's peeps have been reading my blog
and they are the one updating pris abt my well-being and stuff.
havent have time to talk to her.
she's SO BUSY with her soon to be guy.
-zip-
shant expose much too.